Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Snail's Pace

The day I've been dreading came last week as I have had to resign from my position at work. My official last day is the last day of my medical leave on the 23rd. I’ve cried my eyes out too many times to count and it still hurts a lot. It’s hard to say goodbye to 11 years of working my dream job, *my calling*, and not have a choice about it.

It’s getting a little better though. I’m moving on emotionally at a snail’s pace, transitioning from “what was” to “what is”. It’s one of those things. You can either wallow in self pity and make everyone around you suffer, or you can pick up, suck it up, and put a smile on your face and make the best of it. It’s a lousy place to be in and I pray that time will heal my heart and I can find new joy and new meaning in new things. My frame of mind is moving me toward being joyous that I get to raise my daughter and be with her all the time. I have lots of ideas planned for us to do when the time is right and I’m excited about it.

If you think about it, say a prayer for me. That God will help me to see His plan and the big picture. That He’ll help me to be at peace with something that right now, just feels pretty rotten.