Saturday, December 11, 2010

Silver Linings

It helps to look for them in situations that are less than desirable. Sometimes they aren't easy to see, and other times they just seem to fall in your lap. I can't think of a time when a silver lining was more apparent then one I'm about to share with you.

The reality of not being able to return to work was and continues to be harsh. I loved my job. Providing nursing care to hospitalized infants was my calling and why I pursued my RN license as a very young woman. I saw myself retiring with 40+ years of service as a NICU nurse. I can think of no other way I would have rather spent a career.

Here's the silver lining. If by some miracle I would have been able to return at the end of my medical leave of absence, I would have been back for two weeks before news came out that my position would be eliminated at the end of the year. If I had been able, I would have had to bid for a position with more hours and possibly on a different shift. Since I likely wouldn't have been able to work more days (this is the miracle scenario, ya know) I would have had to "resign" any way. Bah humbug!

Ok, so how is THAT a silver lining? I had to think hard about this before it revealed itself to me...

The utter anguish felt among my coworkers is indescribable. With the exception of but a few, lives have been turned upside down as hours and shifts have been dramatically changed. Most lost their jobs and have had to take different positions. Some had their position completely eliminated and some were not offered a position at all.

So, I was spared from the pain. Instead of killing myself to get back to work to have my job cut after just a couple months, I've had a little bit of a head start getting used to the reality of not being able to work.

Life is funny that way with all the twists and turns, sharp corners and dead-ends. God has a way of working things out. I have faith that He has a reason for my life and the way things are going for me with this damn disease. I'm a nurse at heart even if I'm not on the floor right now. I pray that He continue to reveal the silver lining of every storm cloud that dumps on me.